chasing the sun

Well, I started my new job this week. Maybe I’m just tired or my brain is fried or I’m suffering from a lack of windows, but I just feel icky today. And I’m going to list my reasons for feeling such ickiness in no particular order:

1. I have a serious shortage of professional-looking work clothes that actually still fit me, which is both frustrating (because I’ve gained weight) and slightly embarrassing (because I feel very conspicuous in my Old Navy pants and sweater today).

2. There are a billion programs to learn at this damned office. They track everything in at least 3 different difficult and slow-ass computer systems. Seriously, haven’t they heard of DSL?

3. The woman who is supposed to be training me appears to have little or no interest in training me. She points and grunts at my computer and gets frustrated that mine is not set up exactly like hers. She’s worked here for 20 years and I’ve been here 4 days. She’s perfectly nice, but moody and she listens to some soap opera on her computer every afternoon – ugh!

4. I think I’m getting my roommate’s cold. My head is spinning and I feel a bit dizzy.

5. Mostly, though, I think I resent not already knowing how to do everything. Like I should just automatically know, right? I know it’s ridiculous to get mad at yourself because you don’t know things you aren’t even supposed to know, but I am great at doing ridiculous things.

What to do, what to do…My first thought, as you may or may not know, is always to run screaming out the door. But I don’t think that is the answer – nor do I think my roommates, my mother, my recruiter, the gals in HR or the company would appreciate that. So, I need to stay and fight through the foggy days of not knowing what the hell I’m doing – I know that. I need to get in a routine and on a workout schedule so I can wear the clothes I have and not yawn all day long. Maybe I should start taking speed. I hear that works.

Pray for me, won’t you???