i've been watching my neice a lot lately and she's having a hard time adjusting to no longer being the only baby in the family. Instead, she's the oldest grandchild and she hates it when we tell her she's a big girl. Its like she doesn't want the responsibilties that come with growing up.
Come to think of it, they never appealed to me either - 9-5 job, bills, , etc.
But lately I've been drawn more to the grown up life I never thought I wanted...to a career that makes a difference in the world...and a house I can decorate myself with things I bought with my own money...and a grown up relationship with someone who takes me seriously...its a lovely and completely frightening prospect, I know.
My plan to grow up steadily (so as to not send myself and others into complete shock) began a few days ago with the purchase of my brand new swanky purse...but its black with a shiny leather strap and velvety-Asian inspired fabric. And its silly I know, but I was proud of myself not just because I got it for 60% off, but mostly because I felt like for once, instead of opting for the youngish "Hi, I'm still 16" purse, I chose the grown up purse.
I think I don't take myself seriously, and until I do, no one else will - at least not in the way I present myself to the world. I have passion, but until I embrace the reality that I am (deep breath and heavy sigh) 27 years old and not getting any younger, I can never really move into the realm of adults my age and older who are making things happen.
So, I guess what I'm saying, world, is that, although I'm not giving up my flip-flops and tatty Old Navy Jeans and I will definitely still read the final Harry Potter book, even so - I'm ready for you to meet the grown-up me.
Happy Christmas
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about me
i'm jenn. i'm 30 years old and still trying to figure out what i want to be when i grow up. i'm open to suggestions...
2 comments:
Happy Christmas :)
I like it Jenn. Someone said there are always rivers to cross, and I would say that we can't cross them till we are there, ready and able. I've probably been dipping my toes in the responsible adult world for a while - getting the courage to wade in! It's good, it's forward looking. I kind of understand where you are at. Tomorrow I'm cooking christmas dinner for some good friends round at my place, I like that feeling, I'm comfortable with it - it is grown up!! It's fun too - adults seriously are grown up kids, with resources, abilities and hopefully plenty of wisdom gained.
Anyway I'm probably rambling on a little - what I like the most about the thought is that it is having the courage to accept yourself and giving the world and life the best of you. Takes courage and trust - just like Joshua - God told him to be strong and courageous - grown up and full of valour, and he was able.
Fare thee well,
Beth
ps - have you seen Narnia?
Thought it was great!
I hear you Jenn, and I heartily echo Beth's comment, "adults seriously are grown up kids, with resources, abilities and hopefully plenty of wisdom gained." Huh, I like that.
I myself have had some growing up to do in the last few too. (see my post) It's pretty intense but it's life and we always figure it out somehow despite the seeming impossibility of it. I remember as a kid thinking that tying my shoelaces was an impossible task I would never learn. Now I can kinda do it without thinking. (kinda, only sometimes
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