chasing the sun

Remember when you were a kid and you didn't care what anybody thought? You road that bike with the banana seat - you wore that bright yellow shirt on the first day of junior high that was sure to get you noticed - you had permed hair when the style was straight hair - you played touch-football with the boys, though you knew you had a good chance of being hurt and/or embarassed - Okay, maybe that was just me.

Why is it that as we get older, we become more aware of others and their opinions about every little thing when, shouldn't it be the other way around. I agree we need to take others into consideration, but the control "they" have over much of what we do is astonishing. I feel the need to clarify for fear of sounding selfish and out of control. Used to, I would do something because it was the right thing to do or at least the fun thing, not because I cared one bit how it was perceived by another person. Lately, I find myself waiting for the mysterious green light that never comes in the form you think it will before I make even the remotest attempt to communicate my feelings to someone else. Why do I not feel safe? And, do I have to feel safe in order to act? My actions previously have answered a resounding "Yes!!", but I think the winds of change are sweeping through.

Its high time the words "risk" and "chance" took their place in my vocabulary. We should all learn to take a few risks, don't you think? Remember when you were a kid???...yeah, just like that.