chasing the sun

we all secretly (or openly) long to be loved for who we truly are. Its as if two desires are constantly at war within me…the desire to be liked and the desire to be known. By making myself known I am risking all that I have and all that I am on the chance that you may find me interesting or not, that you may choose to acknowledge my existence or not, that you may love me or not. But the idea is not whether I should be myself or not, but rather, if I should risk exposure to the elements.

I have heard a lot lately about the goodness of man and how inherently people are kind and good and how we should trust in that. If anything, history has proven that idea to be resoundingly false. People are not inherently good…I am sorry to say…we are rotten. We are flawed, helpless creatures without an ounce of natural-born goodness. But that is the best part. If we understand this about one another, then we can move past posturing and accept that everyone carries a little bit of baggage around with them. I don’t have to worry that I won’t measure up because you’re completely inadequate too. We’re all in the same sorry state of being absolutely wretched.

This is where it gets really good…thankfully, we have a magnificent God who loves us and wants a relationship with us. That is our only hope of being called good. God loves us and wants us and so we are worthy. He sent his son, Jesus to die for us and so we are hopeful. We are indwelled by His Spirit and so we have relationship with Him and we can know Him. And so the fear of being known by a flawed and hopeless you melts away in the face of being desired by such a wonderfully good and gracious God.

And yet, in my soul I long to know you. I long to be known by you and have relationship with you. I believe it is because we are beings created for community, to live in community with one another. We can no longer settle to live so disconnectedly. I don’t want to be separated from you. In your spirit, you cannot deny the desire you have to feel connected to something bigger than yourself. God has put eternity in our hearts – in all hearts. Community can sustain us as we wait for eternity. It is a way of living eternity now. Sacrifices and compromises (in the best sense) have to be made, but living with others will teach you in a way that living alone never could. Besides, with winter fast approaching, we could use the extra body heat!!!