chasing the sun

the continuing search for the unattainable

4:54 PM

worser

Posted by jenn |

So, its 2008 and I’m on my 2nd job of the year. I’m hoping this one, which I started this week, will work out, and I won’t have to write a short “I quit” note and sneak out the back…that’d be awesome.

And today is Valentine’s Day, and I find myself sans Valentine for the 29th year in a row. That’s gotta be some kind of record, people.

Honestly, I feel like this has been the worst start to a year ever. I cracked one of my molars, my car was maimed in a hit and run, my computer’s hard-drive crashed, my credit cards were stolen, the worship leader at our church was “terminated” and after being on a diet for 3 weeks I have lost exactly NO pounds.

I’m tired of things not working right, of having to struggle and fight for even the tiniest accomplishment. I feel weary and invisible to God, and I feel sick of myself and my bad habits. I spend hours, literally, thinking about how I’m not thinking rightly about something which must be causing all this perceived disaster in my life.

If only I was an artist…I could write or paint or put to music the distress of these first few weeks of 2008 –

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times…”

And so on and so forth until the conclusion when I’d have created something beautiful from the torment!!

And they’d adapt it for stage and screen and I’d make about a billion dollars and never have to worry about anything breaking ever again because I’d have my own Geek Squad… or about being overweight, because men would want me for my money!

And I’d travel the world with Bono, Brangelina and Oprah, giving away money and adopting babies…and none of the things that are bothering me now would bother me then.

So, I’m feeling a little better after this rabbit trail, and I hope you are too.

And, future Valentine, if you’re out there, I hope you’re reading this and thinking how lucky you are to have me in your future!!


OBAMA '08!!!!

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