chasing the sun

Let's get something straight right from the off (she says with her hands on her hips in a suprisingly crisp, but obviously borrowed British accent), my neice is a miracle. I spent the holidays with my family. And though my little 14-month old neice passed on her viral infection to me, I couldn't hold a grudge for long because she is absolutely the cutest thing in the world...no, seriously...she is!

She is at that stage where she is growing and learning at an alarming rate. I won't bore you with cuteness stories, but sufficed to say, she makes me hopeful and she amazes me all at the same time, from her perfect little fingers and toes to the way she tries to say "banana" then giggles when she takes too big of a bite. I love the way she loves and cradles the soft little beanie-monkey I got her for her birthday. She cuddles it under her chin sweetly then passes it off to me, wanting me to love it too because she loves it.

And then I wonder if God ever sits in wonder of and awe of His creation, the way I sit and watch my neice. If he is delighted by me, the way I am delighted by her. And if he is pleased when we love so much the gifts in our lives that he has given us to love...and if he is more than willing to love the gifts we offer to him with sincerity and hopefulness.

All the stuff, the crap I have been going through lately, pales in comparison to the love I have for my neice. Nothing matters when she wants my attention...not even the fact that her mother doesn't love her like she should...because I am there and she has my undivided attention. I want all the world for her and I want her to know how much I love her, even though I can't be with her every day.

This metaphor could go on and on...I am just thankful for the small reminder. In the midst of the craziness that is my mind - always swimming in doubt and fear - I feel a little more peaceful thinking that God loves me unconditionally and finally understanding a little of what that's all about.

Happy New Year.