chasing the sun

my first post in the year of 2005- seems like it should feel more like a new year, but it still feels just like 2004. Although I did have a very fun New Year's Eve, complete with freezing cold weather, fireworks, auld lang syne and a cute boy I may soon develop a crush on.

Chicagoans, for the most part, let me down on New Year's Eve. The party of seven I was with were about the loudest and most energetic folks on Navy Pier Friday night. Everyone scrambled to get out of there as soon as the fireworks stopped. We took our time, moseying (if you will) off the pier, even stopping to see how many of us we could cram into a small photo booth, before heading back to a 24-hour diner that was full of people, all in much better moods than the crowd we'd just left. All in all it was a very pleasant evening/morning. I didn't get back to my apartment until after three and was wide awake until 4:30.

Good stuff about the year so far...

1. fireworks and dancing in the freezing cold on Navy Pier
2. my first meal of the New Year was free
3. breaking in the new shoes I got for Christmas
4. my friend in England finding what appears to be true love while on a five day trip to Albania
5. University of Texas kicks a field goal in the last two seconds of the Rose Bowl to win by one point over Michigan, final score 38-37, wow that was a good game

I've resolved myself to actually making resolutions this year. I usually don't because I think it's stupid to pick one day out of the year to determine to change my life cold-turkey, but I feel like I should at least try and make some progress toward reaching my long-term goals, which as of yet are still undefined. I am hopeful, however, that this year will be better than the last...not that it really matters, because at the very least, it will be new and different...and that's what I'm looking forward to the most.

I've reached at least one conclusion already about the state of things and what might be wrong with our thinking about them. I've heard a few people's theories and I want to get mine out there, because this in my blog and I can...anyway, a challenge to me (and maybe to you): we should live in such a way to give ourselves away, as long as we have breath in our lungs.

Life may not be beautiful all the time...it may not suck all the time...we have good days and bad days, days when we can just stop and smell the roses and days when the roses get cut up in the lawn mower and the bus splashes rain all over you as it turns the corner. I don't think its necessary to try and see the silver lining of every cloud or to try to see the good in every situation because if you can't find it you begin to doubt that its there. Maybe you'll never find it this side of eternity. Mostly, trying to "stay positive" even in crappy situations just makes you a phony as much as playing the pessimist in every situation will scare away all your friends and make you resent the happiness of others.

Resolved: to stop trying to figure it all out and just go with it...take what God gives and cease striving for what He hasn't given...serve Him and others and not myself

sure, it sounds easy now. Ask me in a week or two..